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I was really pleased with myself for the simplicity of this action – contact Orange and switch off paper bills for my mobile, job done!

Or it would have been, if that was possible: I’ve set up an online account; checked all the tabs; read the FAQ and help sections; phoned 150 for customer services and heard them tell me to do this online; tried again on the website; phoned again and not pressed anything to try and get a human being – got a recorded message that said ‘goodbye’ and hung up; phoned 150 selected options and got stumped by their request for digits from my passcode….

I’ve now messaged Orange Helpers on Facebook – I wonder if they’re as helpful as the ‘Help’ section of the website and customer service…

But damn you EE/Orange I will beat you… if I still don’t succeed I’ll be making a visit to my local shop and staying there until they switch off paper bills.

Oh and I may have to consider switching mobile providers when I change my phone next… That’ll probably take less effort!